My Enclosure

Like all other Human beings i am forced to think good about myself, think about things that will benefit me in any way, mental or emotional... My Enclosure is the by product of the selfish, always demanding me, space to write my thoughts and my opnions...probably when i grow older... i'll have a space that i would call ....MINE.....My Enclosure... my space, my mind, a reflection of ME and only me......

Thursday, September 09, 2010

WHY BOYS CRY!!!!

She can kill with a smile, she can wound through her eyes, she can ruin your faith with her casual lies. She only reveals what she wants you to see…..She hides like a child but she’s always a woman to me…….


You know its funny but most girls dream of men that are strong, independent, have a voice and are also slightly in touch with their emotional side. Well atleast I think that’s what they desire….but lets say for once they do…..

Men like these are not only rare and difficult to find but are also more prone to getting hurt and not being able to move on. My next few lines is about someone like that, its not just about the struggle this individual faces with love, emotions, family, friends but also about the journey that goes through a lot of rough weathers. Its story of a Captain that struggles his way through an ocean alone…… an ocean that seems to never end, an ocean that reaps the story of revenge, an ocean that knows to throw a storm, an ocean that spells the word… Its WRONG!!!

Having grown up with the boys most of the time, the boy seeks love at every stage of his life. Whether it’s from family, friends, the cute neighbour that he has a crush on or someone that he just happened to bump into. Grounded by his beliefs in the almighty and seeking moments of happiness in the smallest of things he does, the boy grows to become a man as he struggles his way through the corporate world. While honesty and trust are the key things that drive this mans belief he never fails to ever disappoint anyone who ever asks for it. He seeks similar values in the friends that he makes, he seeks similar values in the relationships he makes.

He dreams like there is no tomorrow, he believes in those dreams like there is no tomorrow. He falls in love never to rise again, he falls in love only because he doesn’t understand the game. A game that the world plays at every moment of life, a game that some of his relationships play as if they rolled a die. He seeks words of his wisdom from his friends he trusts, he seeks the answers to the questions that spring up. He fights the world, he fights the drive……. to let go and live like the eagles fly. But he doesn’t realize he is an emotional fool, love and care are the words that describe this romantic fool.

But like every other story of life, there are troubles and our Captain seems to find his way back all the time. He believes in the god of cupid more than once, only to realize that St Cupid comes in a year only once. His challenges trigger emotions that hide inside, his challenges trigger feelings that he subsides. His challenges arise from within, his challenges arise from the partners he gives in, his challenges arise from the people he looks upto, his challenges arise when ‘THEY’ fail to arrive.

I am scared this man will fall, I am scared this man will break the emotional wall. I am scared he’ll begin to believe, that dreams and emotions are only words of the wheel. The wheel that turns his life, The wheel that soaks the emotions dry.

As I write these words, I only pray to give the man the strength and the courage to turn his life. As tears roll down my eyes, I wonder, WHY BOYS CRY!

Exploring the unknown world of Dating …Still!!!

An adorable, adorable, gorgeous girl has sparked this one..and I am just tempted to put all those thoughts out there. I just read her blog and one of her recent blogs; spoke about Dating! Dating in a city of dreams, Mumbai. Her blog was more about the whole concept than the city scenario and I was captivated, so here I am, spilling my beans...

She mentioned this and I am just reiterating it, Dating has a different meaning for different people. In a city like ours, where colleagues become friends and friends sometimes become partners, it can get pretty complicated. In a fairly active social life, you end up meeting a lot of people, almost everyone that you meet (Single people ofcourse) either look at you like a loser ( Guy/girl) or as someone with some potential. Really that’s about it, these are really the only two extreme set of classifications people have, in the beginning of course!!!

Once you get to know the person it’s a different scenario all together. The challenge for me has always been about the start, When do I start dating? Am I ready for it? What am I really looking for? Am I too old for dating? Isn’t it about time I start seeing someone cause I do wanna get married soon…but how can I see that person If I haven’t dated her yet? Even before I meet someone, I have already gone thru these zillion questions in my head, with answers that only lead to some more questions and some more….

So at some point I stop trying and finding answers, I just ‘Go with the flow’. Meet someone, go out for coffee/ movie/ dinner…wondering if I should hold her hand and make her feel like my date and not just another friend, should I peck her on the cheek and promise to call her…or should I just “Go with the flow”….God wondering what is really right to do…..

I have to say this, Facebook has simply changed the way Dating used to be. One evening out with the person and the next day both the individuals are logging on to FB checking their pictures, likes, dislikes, comments etc….It’s like someone gave them a chance to peep into the other persons entire life.…..Initially I have to admit, I loved the idea… but over a period of time I realized it made things too easy, it made things too comfortable, It made the chase too easy ….even before you realized…..you were a couple!!!!! What I realize only now is that it also made her and mine exit easy too…even before moments of silence, moments of awkwardness, fights….we were Single again!!!

I am obviously not blaming FB for anything, just supporting my situation with some make belief facts…While I struggle to convince myself with similar facts, I made some rules for myself for the unknown journey….I made some rules that’ll define me…
I made some rules that’ll let me be me…..
  1. Be yourself…. no matter how ugly she looks or how pretty she is…be yourself !!!
  2. Don’t hold back anything, if you want to say it….Say It…….let her do the same ( only if she wants too of course)

No rules beyond these two seem logical to me at any point, honestly it hasn’t got me too much luck but hey what the hell atleast I don’t have a guilt to live with. So here I am writing all this, hoping to be back in the world of Dating once again….actually I am not really sure about….but what the Heck….’Let’s just Go with the flow’.

PS: Dnt worry guys I haven’t forgotten, the Lovely lady who inspired these thoughts is Divya Chadha and you can read her stuff on:
http://dazedreflection.blogspot.com/2010/08/dating-whats-that.html

Happy Reading….and incase you are heading where I am …Wish you luck…I know I need it!!!

You say one Love, One life …when all you really need, is just one night!!!....